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21:39:00, January 5th, 2008
John Henry Holliday, DDS
John does not cook.
He takes his meals at lunch-counters and restaurants.
He has hired others to cook for him on the trail.

Nevertheless, here he is in a modern supermarket.

First he wanders the liquor aisle, amazed and bemused. It seems like a dream - everything is available in such bewildering array he cannot take it in. He buys what he fancies.

He has a basket and quickly fills it with:

1.Laphroaig single malt scotch
2.Southern Comfort (That sounds remarkably home-like)
3.Double chocolate beer (?!!! - four bottles)
4.Ironstone Symphony wine (someone told him it tasted like flowers)
5.Razor's Edge red wine (it had a straight razor on the label)
6.McGillicuddy's peach schnapps (peach schapps!)
7.Peach cooler (well, it says peach - four bottles for they are small.)

John cannot carry more and someone kindly shows him how to get a cart.
Asking further, remembering the beautiful campfire on the beach he buys:

8.Graham crackers
9.Chocolate bars (milk, white and dark chocolate !!!)
11.Toasting forks ($6!!! he remembers Gabriel complaining)

He wanders randomly after this and buys:
13.White peaches
14.a Pecan pie
15.Potato salad
16.Jello cubes (how they wriggle !!!???)
17.Good organic whole milk
18.Peach juice
19.Grape juice
20.A large and crusty round loaf of fancy bread with olives in it
21.Cultured butter (always best to be cultured and he can afford the best)
22.Sliced Ham
23.Sliced Garlic Roast Beef
24.Sliced Chicken Breast
25.A baked chicken in a basket
26.A small round of smoked gouda cheese (he is confused by the cheese choices, but this looks familiar)
27.Tinned spaghetti in tomato sauce - 3 (he remembers how Morgan liked nice fresh spaghetti and the label makes it look so good)
28.Tinned peaches
29.Tinned oranges
30.Tinned pineapple
31.Tinned corn
32.Tinned okra
33.A jar of mustard pickles
34.A jar of beetroot pickles
35.A box of dried apricots
36.A box of whole pecans
37.A Christmas cake with thick marzipan

Eventually he comes to the personal care products and is delighted. He looks for peppermint oil for his hair, but alas... He remembers the wonders of his first modern bath and fills the cart with pleasant-smelling items. He needs nothing for shaving, he thinks, picturing his beautiful shaving set, complete and perfect.

38.Garnier hair oil in its clear round bottle like an apple
39.The beautiful silky peach lubricant
40.Vanilla body lotion
41.Tropical Fruit shampoo
42.Tropical Fruit conditioner
43.Vanilla shampoo
44.Vanilla conditioner
45.A shampoo that promises soft luxuriant curls
46.A conditioner that promises soft luxuriant curls
47.Some styling gel (??!!!) that matches and also promises soft luxuriant curls
48.A rainbow array of coloured fruit flavoured gellatin soaps that smell... delicious
49.Soap that contains 'lotion' (how is it possible?)
50.A bottle of foaming 'antibacterial' peach hand soap
51.A bubble bath in a bottle shaped like a cartoon dog (Scooby-Doo apparently)
52.A bottle of clear but vibrant blue bubble bath in a tapered bottle
53.A box of bath salts that promise softness and smell almost tangy
54.A box of bath salts that promise to be invigorating
55.Foot cream that smells like warm elaborate talc
56.Hand cream that comes in an attractive round blue container
57.A yellow plastic duck

John eschews the pharmacy, wary and remembering the folly of tinctures of mercury. Hearing his cough an elderly woman offers him something called 'Buckley's Mixture' but it smells suspiciously of pine oil. He delights in the tooth care aisle, though he is again suspicious of the pastes. He is delighted by the array of tooth brushes however and purchases many varieties.

58.flat floss
59.mint floss
60.waxed floss
61.unwaxed floss
62.toothbrush with rubber bristles
63.toothbrush with a swivel top
64.toothbrush with hard blue bristles in a circular pattern
65.toothbrush with angled bristles
66.toothbrush with zigzag topped bristles
67.toothbrush featuring a 'tongue cleaner'
68.a regular hard toothbrush
69.a regular medium toothbrush
70.a regular soft toothbrush
71.a child's toothbrush with Bob the Builder on it
72.a packet of mojito flavoured Orbit gum

Eventually he makes it to the checkout counter, where he is gently steered from the Express line. Naturally, he pays cash.

Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
List Items: 72
Please comment if you wish.
Nulli Virtute Secundus
affect: cleanycleany
file cards: makeyourlist
    Buck the Tiger - Rake in 17 Chips - - Address

(no subject)
7:26:10, January 6th, 2008 (UTC)
strained, half-stranded: Jamie O rly?
((...I think that just made my evening. Bloody excellent. XD

Yes, the parantheses ARE necessary... Somehow. But yay. :D))
Description: Jamie O rly?
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(no subject)
7:35:50, January 6th, 2008 (UTC)
Ynez Castillo: OOC
ooc: And mine, as well.
Description: OOC
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(no subject)
10:29:45, January 6th, 2008 (UTC)
Dr. Gregory House
ooc: And mine, too. So wonderful.
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(no subject)
23:09:51, January 6th, 2008 (UTC)
John Henry Holliday, DDS: men in black
Thank you! Nothing like an excursion in this new century, and scotch to share. etc.
Description: men in black
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(no subject)
23:07:31, January 6th, 2008 (UTC)
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Very nice of you to say so! And thank you for reading!
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(no subject)
13:19:16, January 6th, 2008 (UTC)

I use the dual parenthesis when I'm differentiating between in character and out of character in the same post. I don't see many other people doing it besides myself.

And to John and the typist, much like everyone else above me, I also thought the list was awesome.

Sorry for the edit times x3 its early on the east coast and I've not had any caffeine.

Edited at 2008-01-06 13:48 (UTC)
Description: Middle-Aged\Amused
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(no subject)
23:01:30, January 6th, 2008 (UTC)
John Henry Holliday, DDS
No need to worry about the edits. If my head were more clear I would compare and contrast the edits, but alas it is not. Thank you. The parentheses are a good idea. You see, I had this suggestion last night but have used 'small' again recently. *sighs*
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(no subject)
23:05:06, January 6th, 2008 (UTC)
John Henry Holliday, DDS: soapy!
Parentheses are always smiles now, so the more the merrier. Wheee for writing with a fever instead of writing as normal but as John having a fever. Wheeee! Thank you very much again. If you need any shampoo the house is now overflowing therewith... and he was so proud.
Description: soapy!
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(no subject)
19:09:16, January 6th, 2008 (UTC)
Anson Greene: Mayhem/Anson ooc
This is delightful. I can't stop smiling. I can just see him wandering from aisle to aisle and filling his cart with all of those wonderful things. (I especially loved 58-72) An absolute treat. Thanks so much for this. :)
Description: Mayhem/Anson ooc
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(no subject)
22:59:13, January 6th, 2008 (UTC)
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Well thank you! He forgot the lemonade and ice-cream. He loves those. And of course now he must experiment with 58-72.
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22:49:52, January 6th, 2008 (UTC)
Peter Petrelli: carebears don't explode
I love this because you put him in a modern grocery store and let him go a little crazy! It's wonderful.
Description: carebears don't explode
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Re: ooc
22:57:43, January 6th, 2008 (UTC)
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Well, thank you very much! And thank you so much for reading!
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(no subject)
20:08:54, January 8th, 2008 (UTC)
William Adama: OOC - SP Adama
*LOLs and applauds*
Description: OOC - SP Adama
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(no subject)
21:03:45, January 8th, 2008 (UTC)
What a remarkable post!

it reminds me a little of an old story I heard once: "Coyote goes to the Grocery Store". (I also heard "Coyote Goes to the Welfare Office", because unlike you, Coyote is a ne'er-do-well who's too lazy to do a lick of work if he can help it)

Aren't modern groceries so marvellous?
Description: me
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(no subject)
20:25:44, January 13th, 2008 (UTC)
Will Porter: ooc snl
Hee! This is awesome!
Description: ooc snl
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(no subject)
23:30:56, January 13th, 2008 (UTC)
For a post that captures a fantastic foray into your wonderfully unique muse...

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(no subject)
20:48:12, January 26th, 2008 (UTC)
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Thank you so much for the banners. I did not really know what to say to the second. I wrote it ill in bed in a fever and simply thought I would let John go to the supermarket. It is partly a real supermarket in San Diego - my first experience with an American supermarket. It sold alcohol!!! I wanted to thank you again. That post was cheek, but so often I write and think it is for John and myself alone. And I know other others think the same of their work for when I tell them why they are brilliant, having encountered their writing, they say they believed themselves unread. What you are doing is wonderful. People write so well it is stunning. I am continually stunned, and they deserve recognition, even beyond our relatively small communities. That you provide this beam of sunlight for them, and so encouragement to continue writing and the knowledge that they shine, is a great service. Thank you so much for the idea and for all your work!
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