Gabriel has given me my old wishes - Friendship and love until the end of time; Wyatt missing me and waiting for me Beyond; my Mama proud of me and again waiting for me with Mattie, both in that land; my Faith all confirmed. I am dying, so it is with such things that I must concern myself. Most of my personal haunting pain has gone.
One more wish then.
I cannot help but thinking again of Bat's accusation of selfishness. Thus I cannot allow myself to wish for health. It is of such small scope.
There are large wishes I could make for all the world. I could wish that each child receive the education that he or she deserves. But perhaps such wishes change everything too fundamentally - are too shattering for the careful structure of causality to bear.
One wish though.
I have friends for whom I have strong wishes. I have a wish for a friend's memory of a beloved. I have a wish for a friend's peace. I have a wish that a friend would recognise his innocence. I have a wish that a friend learn to guide himself. But maybe these are not wishes, but goals for me. Maybe they are gifts I give them slowly as I create them for these men, and learn and work slowly myself. And these are four wishes, not one.
John shows a tiny smile, almost shy.
What I want most... the first thing that comes to mind... is to see those I have loved again beyond, for that meeting lasts such unimaginable time. Even Billy Leonard, who died committing the desperate violence of an intentional outlaw. Even those who do not want it, or believe they deserve it. It sounds so childish, even to my ears. I want all my friends to go to Heaven. But I do want it.
What shall I wish?
I know what I want, but it is not really to be granted to me for the mere act of asking or wishing.
I will wish for the strength of character and wisdom to be a worthy and trustworthy friend. A small simple thing ultimately within my control. A small wish that is not too selfish, too much, too disruptive, or too intrusive to ask. And in seizing such a wish - in valuing it so highly one always keeps it in mind - it truly is granted.Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Word Count: 407
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Nulli Virtute Secundus