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143. Revenge  
23:14:00, September 8th, 2006
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Ah, now we come to it. Vengeance.
When did I take to vengeance? Oh yes, early. At twenty two, perhaps? Well leaving that aside...
There is another question, of course. At what point does reaction become vengeance? Challenge, for instance, of one who has caused offence, when it is sure to escalate into violence - is that vengeance? What of a duel? If that is vengeance, I took to it much younger than twenty-two. Is protection of others vengeance, when a good defence is a good offence? What about protection of oneself? If someone has committed something unpardonable, is it vengeance to prevent them from committing it again?

I don't look at it quite the same as others, perhaps. 'A reckoning' they had me saying, in a recent popular movie. I think, as I said before, of Michael, weighing the souls of the dead and lopping off the heads of the unworthy with his bright and shining sword.

I always believed I was doing the right and best thing. And I still believe it. If there is someone who is breaking honour, I will not sit idly by. Yes, that is what it is. If there is lying or betrayal, if there is the abuse of innocent people, if people try to take advantage of me, hurt, threaten, or kill, I will not let it pass. I will not let it continue. And I will not let it be repeated. I think back to all the personal gunfights. I am fragile. I admit it freely, but I am not someone with whom to be trifled. I cannot fight - even Wyatt and Bat said I could not whip a child in a fight. I must therefore stand up for myself as I can, pre-emptively at times. And still, if someone would take advantage of me, would try to cheat or harm me, they have no scruples or honour. They deserve whatever reaction I can muster.

I am avoiding talking about Morgan. My friend.

Wyatt called the tale 'An Arizona Vendetta.' And I? I rode at his side and surely felt like Michael. Never has my life had such purpose, such meaning, such virtue. We were bringing law to the West. We were bringing peace and security to a place of danger and chaos. And we were doing it for Morgan. It was vengeance, but it was so much more. And Morgan. In truth, vengeance was no solace there - it could not make up for the loss of his easy camaraderie, his voice, the surety of his company...

*John trails off*

Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 431
Please comment if you wish.
Nulli Virtute Secundus
affect: disturbeddisturbed
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12:00:15, September 9th, 2006 (UTC)
Lady Kate, Marchioness Schofield (nee Talgarth): TMM
It is your final comment upon this subject that feels truest to me -- for all of the reasons one has to take vengeance, it still does not bring back that which inspired the action in the first place. And so it is a hollow act, and yet one that we still feel impelled to commit. The desire for Justice can be so strong that it cannot be ignored, and yet even after the fact, what have we gained? I believe the apt term used here is 'vicious circle'.
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(no subject)
14:56:41, September 9th, 2006 (UTC)
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Good morning, my Lady. I do thank you for reading. A 'vicious circle?' It did end in many ways, but then too, Warren Earp was killed, and there was that business when they came after me in Leadville. And you know, I still believe they became as brutal and lawless as they were out of vengeance too - for the Civil War. Nothing was to bring back the old days, and nothing was to bring back Morgan. But action in such straights brings, if not solace, at least absolution. We could not let it lay.
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