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265. Last night:  
20:39:00, January 16th, 2009
John Henry Holliday, DDS
I dreamt the world, the earth as an entire globe, a sphere, had shattered beneath my feet and disappeared, the pieces falling below me through the black of sky and stars, so small as they receded from view, becoming nothing.

In the dream I laughed with bitterness, at you; at you and everything you had done with which I had not agreed.

In the dream I wept, for myself; for myself cut loose, alone, self-pitying.

No, it was not so simple. Though it is true, that is all you think of me.

In the dream I laughed with bitterness, at myself; at myself for inevitable folly of will, for whatever I had done, whatever I had become through hoping for a world, wanting a world.

In the dream I wept for you; for you for whatever pain and loss of war had caused you to lose yourself, your way, to vanish into the darkest void of night. For you surely vanished.

I was free, without the world, company, anyone who knew me, with no one's pain to bind me that I could respect. I was free to feel: to weep if I felt the impulse, to laugh if I was lost amidst those strange to me, to whom I was strange. I was free to recreate myself in any way I chose as I deemed best.

In the dream I held to what I valued, seizing memory in force of will with iron clenched fingers, wresting it from mind to matter. Not physical matter; consequence.

I never woke.

Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 250
Please comment if you wish.

I've been having a hard time writing for John. It's my own fault. I haven't even answered the friending memes (though I read them and always feel poised to post.) I've had a hard time just reading the prompts, even if they are short (though I still read his friends, check the coms every day.) I asked what he would dream, what from his past would haunt his subconscious. What I got was the dissolution of his life when he left Georgia, his father. I wrote this. I read it later and thought: Er, What? What? Well, here it is anyway.
affect: inscrutableinscrutable
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12:45:57, January 17th, 2009 (UTC)
wytchcroft: cushing
funnily enough i was actually thinking of you last night and wondering when (hoping that is) you would post again.

always a pleasure - i'm sorry you've been having trouble writing for John, sorry on a selfish level that is! - i want more! :):)
Description: cushing
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20:26:28, January 17th, 2009 (UTC)
Despite your trouble, you have crafted something brilliant. I hung onto every word of this, every turn of phrase and turn-around of idea. The images were brilliant and the emotions were wonderfully conveyed.
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September 2009  

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