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18:00:00, August 14th, 2020
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
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Adopt one today!Adopt one today!Adopt one today!Adopt one today!Adopt one today!Adopt one today!
affect: welcomingwelcoming
 
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Vacation! Really? No, really! What? It's true!  
21:47:00, September 20th, 2009
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Greetings!
I've had a great deal of stress lately. My job changed suddenly. I've not been posting as much as I would have liked.
But tomorrow I am going on vacation! For a whole month! I saved up holidays for two years!
It is a magic convention on a ship, going down to LA and then I am staying with my dear Uncle and Aunt in Oceanside.
I will be offline until the 26th, or possibly the 27th or 28th, depending on internet availability in LA.

I'm working on some fests.
The Severus Big Bang Birthday Bash [info - community] severusbigbang on insanejournal and livejournal. I've three projects there. One is going really well and makes me happy. The others I've not started.
Severus' Shorts severus_shorts on livejournal. I have a story of one of Severus' birthdays to write there.
HP Cross Gen Fest hp_cross_fest, which I have half-written - something totally different.
Snapely Holidays [info - community] snapelyholidays on livejournal and insanejournal.

There are various things I have written in my head but that I have not typed up yet. Some for me, some for John, some for Sev. I hope to get a lot of work done.

And I will see my dear relations, and my dear friend also.

If you live near Oceanside, or San Diego, let me know and maybe we can work out some way to meet! I will be in LA also, but it is only a day or so.

I feel strange, and I still cannot believe I really get to go. Really? Me?

Best wishes and warm thoughts to you all. I should be back online in a few days.
affect: weirdweird
 
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(no subject)  
18:58:00, August 27th, 2009
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
I am here. Still reading everything. I'm having a tough time at work - my job changed suddenly.
I've not been writing so much.
Here are some eggs.
lil!sevvie for [info - community] severusbigbang is progressing at least. A successful craft project. He's developing personality.
Going to the magic convention soon, and California.
I will write a lot there.
I'm performing a 15 minute magic set at the picnic this Sunday.

Adopt one today!Adopt one today!Adopt one today!Adopt one today!Adopt one today!
affect: exanimateexanimate
æther radio: Behind Closed Doors
 
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295. Mediocrity, Talent and Genius  
20:48:00, August 21st, 2009
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
"Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius." -Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Valley of Fear
John smiles at this. It is true. He does not like men of mediocrity. He does not know what to do with them. Faced with a lukewarm conversational glass of domestic trifles, petty thoughts and inconsequential preferences, he does not partake.

He is not sure if he is a genius himself or merely talented. He know that whichever it is, it is not so much inspiration or original thought to light the world. But the fire of the vision of which he concieved so long ago has been fueled with diligence, conviction and devotion until it illuminates all he does - everything for which he strives. Even in the brilliance of genius, he is confident it will shine pure.

He seeks out genius, looks for it, waits for it. He followed Wyatt across the Western States. Eddie Foy, with his gentle wonder and smile at adventure had shared his delight in the recognition of genius. They were quietly friends. John had recognised the genius of General Sherman when he met him, even past the destruction of John's own childhood.

John trusts genius, feels at home, even relieved. Men of genius have always treated him well, with mutual respect. It is the mediocre who have plagued him, wracked by insecurity about their own worth, desperate to bolster it with cruelty and power over others. Men of genius wield power with every glance of their mind and will. As John, they already know they are justified.

Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 243
Please comment if you wish.
affect: dorkydorky
file cards: john_h_holliday
 
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meme! from rm and delphi  
21:32:00, August 9th, 2009
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Ask me my fannish Top Five [Whatevers]. Any top fives. Doesn't matter what, really! And I will answer them all in a new post.
affect: curiouscurious
 
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285. When you were broke  
10:12:00, June 14th, 2009
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
When I look back at my life, there is a period of time that sticks up like a splinter when you run your hand down a hard-wood banister worn smooth and creamy by the flesh and oil of decades, a century of touch. My life has not been simple or naïve, but the chaos has been largely of my own creation, or a reaction to the misdeeds of others. There has been a certain consistency of self-sufficiency. I have always been in control of myself, have always had choices.

To some degree my entire life has been an exercise in ingenuity, in terms of my livlihood. To some degree, I have always been at a loose end, since I lost my vocation in Dallas, since I became a sporting man with neither home nor visible means of support.

Nevertheless, save for the time of my illness in Leadville, there has always been the possibility of dignity. I am inclined to say I am ashamed, but I do not believe in shame. I can still say I did my best, but I was helpless, and my own devices did not sustain me.
cut for lengthCollapse )

Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 936
Please comment if you wish.
affect: sicksick
 
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from rude_not_ginger  
8:53:00, June 13th, 2009
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Post a CONFESSION Meme
affect: curiouscurious
 
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282. Cremation or Burial  
12:58:00, May 8th, 2009
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
I didn't make plans for my funeral or burial. They did not have cremation in my time. I was alone in Glenwood Springs, and I wished to spare my family the pain of long journeys and responsibilities that would surely cause them dismay. It was better for them to remember me as I had been - young, serious, diligent, productive, handsome (though I say it myself) - than an ill dissolute with a reputation they should not have to face. It was not that they did not know of my life - Mattie in particular, of course, and Robert - but it is one thing to bring comfort to an ill and despondent cousin than to meet his detractors, would-be murderers, or even his fellow sporting-men, lawmen, and... pioneers.

I did not even tell Wyatt. How could I bear to have him near, attentive in the shadow of Josie, to be granted perhaps a few moments alone from tie to time. Better too for him to remember me riding at his side with his cause as my cause, my hand and heart as his, my gun and will at his service. How could I bear the shame of my hurt anger in Albuquerque resurfacing as it surely would in those circumstances.

The only plans I made were with my priest, to grant me the last rights at the proper time. I made my confession, received absolution. In the end, it was bitterly cold. He could not be present after all.

There were four people present at my funeral. Four. The good people at the hotel took a small collection to hold the service, to bury my body. But the ground was too hard to dig the grave in the cemetery and they had to bury my body in the easier ground lower down. A flood that year - spring run-off - dissolved and collapsed the hill above my resting-place and my body was lost.

My body was lost, but not my soul, for Gabriel came for me - the Angel of Death, who had marked my lip and followed me all my life, close as my own heartbeat.

Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 361
Please comment if you wish.
affect: recumbentrecumbent
 
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(no subject)  
22:30:00, April 4th, 2009
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
I love you.
 
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Charloft. Wednesday. Pride.  
23:20:00, March 31st, 2009
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Pride is a virtue. In pride, we set high expectations for ourselves. The opposite of pride is shame. Pride demands that we strive not to disappoint ourselves, with whom we spend all our waking hours. Pride is not weakness nor vying for power nor passive smugness with mediocrity. It is struggle to master ourselves, and the honour of success, without other reward or recognition. Pride demands we act in such a way that we may hold our heads high. Pride is active and dynamic, a way of being in the world. Pride is ability and competency. Pride is a virtue.
affect: determineddetermined
 
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Charloft. Sunday. RP. Streetcorner advice booth.  
22:19:00, March 28th, 2009
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
John is earnest and pleased with the request. He enjoys talking with people and this will give him an excuse, perhaps, to search within them for that spark of soul he values. His booth is whitewashed and there is a hook at one side for hats. He has a flask and cups ready and has laid his 'pocket dental office' at the side, just in case there is a need for his services. The counter is green felt, with a cloth in the centre of patterned muted brown silk. The sign above reads 'Doctor John Holliday Very Respectfully Offers Advice and Emergency Minor Dental Procedures. Reasonable Rates.' While he waits for customers, he practices Patience with his cards, the movements of his fingers deft and precise.

Advice given for reasonable rates. Please ask, as you wish.
Please respond HERE
affect: sympatheticsympathetic
file cards: john_h_holliday, rp
 
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Charloft. Saturday. Theme Song.  
21:10:00, March 15th, 2009
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Music for Windows Media Player (or VLC on my Mac.)
Music for Realplayer.
As sung and played by Mary O'Hara.
Alas, there is no video. It took me a long time to find audio.
John's mama would have played this song, and so John would have liked it. It suits him well, also.

Farewell! But Whenever You Welcome the Hour
by Thomas Moore.

Farewell! but whenever you welcome the hour
Which awakens the night-song of mirth in your bow'r,
Then think of the friend who once welcom'd it too,
And forgot his own grief to be happy with you.
His griefs may return, not a hope may remain,
Of the few that have brighten'd his pathway of pain,
But he ne'er will forget his short vision that threw
Its enchantment around him, while ling'ring with you.

And still on that evening, when pleasure fills up
To the highest top sparkle each heart and each cup,
Where'er my path lies, be it gloomy or bright,
My soul, happy friends! shall be with you that night;
Shall join in your revels, your sports and your wiles,
And return to me, beaming all o'er with your smiles! --
Too blest, if it tells me, that, 'mid the gay cheer,
Some kind voice had murmur'd, "I wish he were here!"

Let Fate do her worst, there are relics of joy,
Bright dreams of the past, which she cannot destroy;
Which come, in the night-time of sorrow and care,
And bring back the features that joy us'd to wear.
Long, long be my heart with such memories fill'd!
Like the vase in which roses have once been distill'd --
You may break, you may ruin the vase if you will,
But the scent of the roses will hang round it still.
affect: artisticartistic
 
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273. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?  
23:11:00, March 10th, 2009
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

"Why, I do.

"As I was quoted as saying, so aptly, We could be a lawmen and outlaws. The best of both worlds.

"What do you do, when the law is corrupt - when those charged with the safety and security of citizens are themselves lying cheating stealing murdering corrupt bastards?" John smiles with half his mouth and his eyes twitches at you, amused. "I could go on."

"One restores order. And corruption calls for vigilance. One must consider strategy, one must wait at times, and at others one must act suddenly. One must be clever and devious enough to outrun them, to meet them with a smirk, waiting in the dark where they have crept at dawn to lie in wait for you. One must out-manouevre them, listen to their lies to predict the direction in which they will next try to sway the citizens.

"If one may be arrested on trumped up charges through the lies of petty criminals hiding behind stolen stars, one may be imprisoned, shamed, broken, killed, but honesty and integrity of purpose will still remain for you and Heaven - cold comfort perhaps, but the sides remain clearly delineated in some mythical court of ultimate judgement.

"I watch the watchmen, but their own deeds condemn them or save them.

"In the mean time, in this world, I am happy to defeat them, to foil and confound them.

"I am pleased to kill them."

"Ike Clanton, Frank Stillwell, Pete Spence, Johnny Ringo" John hisses. "Behan himself? All wore stars - watchmen or deputies. What more do you need to know?"

Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 275
Please comment if you wish.
affect: angryangry
 
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Sunday: Networking, a week late.  
20:06:00, March 9th, 2009
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Muse's Name: John Henry (Doc) Holliday
Mun name / nickname: Denzil
Muse's Fandom: American History 1851-1887
Summary of Muse: This is John's story, from all points of his life, and some few after his death. He was born in 1851 in Georgia, went through the Civil War as a Southern child, suffering all the usual privations. His mother died, his father remarried. He went to school, then to dental college, hoping to become a dentist and marry. He served as preceptor to his cousin Robert, who began the first dental college in the South. Tubercular, he went to Texas for his health, where he won all the prizes for dentistry. Unable to practice, he took up cards. Alienated, he took up guns. He had many adventures in Georgia and later, taking up with Wyatt Earp and joining the forces of law. He was loyal, helping to settle the West, a gentleman, dentist, sporting man, friend. He excelled at all of these vocations, and as a gunman besides. He was well educated and soft-spoken with unshakeable belief in himself, though he drank and possessed an acerbic wit and a hot temper. He liked technology, ice cream, the theatre, literature and played the piano wonderfully, taught by his mother. He believed in education and diligent children. He had original ideas and valued men not for what they were, but for whom they were, beyond even good and evil. He stood by those he valued unto death. He died alone in a Glenwood Springs, Colorado, hotel in 1887 of consumption. This is a simplification and leaves out remarkable events, too numerous for a summary. Dying for sixteen years and a killer of, perhaps, an equal number of men, he is linked inextricably to the angel of death.
Journal Content / Warnings: John is a gunfighter and killer. He drinks. He is depressive. He is dying. He has tuberculosis. He was a Southern child in the Civil War, and his angry teenaged politics are not my politics. There is a little sexuality, I suppose. There is surely violence and medical description for John is ill and is a dentist.
Looking for: I am looking for inspiration, perhaps. Certainly new friends. John is friendly and likes to talk.
Any other information: I have thoroughly researched John. I try to make anything I write at least possible, given available information. Almost all the stories are expanded fragments of bare facts.

If anyone would like to chat, I'm on AIM and MSN and Yahoo Instant Messenger. mirorthauma and miror_thauma and miror_thauma.
affect: curiouscurious
 
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What?!!!! ok... X^I  
23:49:00, February 20th, 2009
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
 
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It's finally time for the:  
0:12:00, January 18th, 2009
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Mun Friending Meme! for those interested or curious!
I am late in posting, but sometimes that is the way it goes.
affect: interested and curiousinterested and curious
 
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265. Last night:  
20:39:00, January 16th, 2009
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
I dreamt the world, the earth as an entire globe, a sphere, had shattered beneath my feet and disappeared, the pieces falling below me through the black of sky and stars, so small as they receded from view, becoming nothing.

In the dream I laughed with bitterness, at you; at you and everything you had done with which I had not agreed.

In the dream I wept, for myself; for myself cut loose, alone, self-pitying.

No, it was not so simple. Though it is true, that is all you think of me.

In the dream I laughed with bitterness, at myself; at myself for inevitable folly of will, for whatever I had done, whatever I had become through hoping for a world, wanting a world.

In the dream I wept for you; for you for whatever pain and loss of war had caused you to lose yourself, your way, to vanish into the darkest void of night. For you surely vanished.

I was free, without the world, company, anyone who knew me, with no one's pain to bind me that I could respect. I was free to feel: to weep if I felt the impulse, to laugh if I was lost amidst those strange to me, to whom I was strange. I was free to recreate myself in any way I chose as I deemed best.

In the dream I held to what I valued, seizing memory in force of will with iron clenched fingers, wresting it from mind to matter. Not physical matter; consequence.

I never woke.

Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 250
Please comment if you wish.

I've been having a hard time writing for John. It's my own fault. I haven't even answered the friending memes (though I read them and always feel poised to post.) I've had a hard time just reading the prompts, even if they are short (though I still read his friends, check the coms every day.) I asked what he would dream, what from his past would haunt his subconscious. What I got was the dissolution of his life when he left Georgia, his father. I wrote this. I read it later and thought: Er, What? What? Well, here it is anyway.
affect: inscrutableinscrutable
 
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(no subject)  
18:37:00, December 13th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
From sayshisname via various people (of course you know who you are.)

I'm going to write ficlets for Christmas - a gift from me to you. Fill out the information below. I will grant one or more of your requests, depending on time and inspiration. If you want to borrow the meme go right ahead.

Give me up to five requests with the following information:

1. My Muse/Your Muse
2. A song, quote, one word prompt, letter prompt (if letter prompt make sure you say so) or brief description of what you'd like to see them do
3. Fluffy, Angsty, Comedy or writer's choice?
4. Rating request?
5. What timeline or universe is this set in or do you want me to choose?


Pick from any of my muses and any of your muses. Make five requests of the same pairings or mix it up. I'll pick and choose and have something written before the end of the year. I'll screen comments for anyone who wants to make requests with muses that they haven't been outed for playing yet. I will put this up on my other muse's journal, but comment in either place as you wish.
affect: lonelylonely
 
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259. I don't understand...  
21:19:00, December 6th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
I don't understand...

His blue eyes look back at him from the mirror. He doesn't understand. It is never enough - whatever he does, it is impossible to atone, impossible to be anyone but an outlaw, a murderer, a bad man generally.

It is Christmas, and he is in alone in his room at the Cosmopolitan. It is not illness - the dry Arizona desert has sealed the bloody tubercles of his lungs as much as anything ever will. He has cleaned bows of salt cedar and hung them over the door, to provide a little festivity for himself.

It is Christmas, and the town is all at the new church. There is a Christmas tree, presents for everyone, cheer and holiday wishes, the women have brought pies and there will be dancing. Everyone will have their best clothes and the girls will dance on their father's feet, or with the little boys until they fall asleep against coats on the benches. The men will leave periodically to stamp their feet and share from their flasks. The women will cluck and arrange the food and laugh together in the corners. Wyatt is there, all the Earps, all the Committee for Public Safety, all the good people in town. John has been told he would not be welcome, but he can hear them on the December air if he opens his window.

He understands he is a foreigner. He understands he has a reputation, a less than savoury past. He expects now that his general courtesy and greetings will go unheeded at least as often as they are returned. But he has never lied. He has worked for them all, offered his hand - even to killing or dying for them. He has fought and stood and never been less than a gentleman to any of the townspeople. Without his name, without his past, he had been considered a fine man. What more can he do?

Nothing.

He doesn't understand. There must be something, some trait or error. There must be something he can do. There must be some way of atoning, of offering. It is never enough.

It is Christmas.

"I don't understand," His blue eyes say, looking back at him silently from the mirror. He has no answer, and there is no one to tell him. He drinks from his own flask. He goes downstairs and stands by the rail, listening again.

"I don't understand."

Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 403
Please comment if you wish.

no one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man. behind blue eyes.
affect: pensivepensive
 
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Confession meme: Tell me. Please.  
20:34:00, November 16th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Post a CONFESSION Meme
affect: unsureunsure
 
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Make Your List alternate answers 48.1 and 48.2  
19:53:00, November 16th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
John does not have emails or messages to delete. In his time there are telegrams - wires. These are not deleted, erased or otherwise, and generally they are used for business or for emergency.

In his time, the regular contacts made with friends, loved ones and acquaintances are the post. Again, there is not house-to house delivery service, but rather what we would now call 'general delivery' at a post office or general store, perhaps a railway station or telegraph office. If one has not called for one's letters within a certain number of days, then a notice was put in the newspaper.

It is possible to follow John from town to town by these notices of letters he had not collected. Here is a list of people whose correspondence John would never fail to collect, whether he had moved on to another town or no:

1. Mattie Holliday
2. John S. Holliday
3. Robert Holliday
4. Miguel Otero
5. Lee John White
6. Lee Smith

He would have collected letters from Wyatt, but they never came; from Morgan, but he was dead.
affect: ridingriding
 
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256. Hope  
18:07:00, November 13th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
"What did you hope for?" The priest sits by his bedside, not a friend exactly, but a voice and a kindness. He asks the right questions - the ones that are not quite intrusion but allow him to answer, to be a true person rather than a simple invalid to be washed and clucked over. There is no constant request for confession. He had been exorcised, washed clean in the pure mountains in Creede. The Catholic church has become familiar, reasonable, though he turns it to his own firm tenets. The man's fingers are warm and soft under his own bony ones still covered by the thin smooth gambler's skin. His wounds itch but he doesn't touch them, nor rub the bandages

John has not let himself hope for anything since he left Georgia. He had changed on that train, heading for Dallas, his future receding into the distance along with his past, becoming ever smaller, not dots but perfect miniatures of themselves to examine under the microscope of fever for the rest of his life.

Hope had always been too much to ask, accompanied as he was by Death. This had not meant there were no things for which he had worked. He had bought Lee - his chosen child - education and a future. He had worked for his friends, every one. He had worked to settle the West. No, that was Wyatt's dream.

No, he has not hoped. He has not worked for anything but his friends since he had become a dentist from his own vision and intention. But he has wanted. There have been things he wanted almost hungrily, even to madness. Wyatt. He has wanted to be known; wanted to know others; wanted a knowing eye to meet his; wanted an understanding hand on his wrist, sympathetic fingers in his hair. He has wanted friends and their shining respect for what he gave, for the wonders he could work. He has wanted to see them, to appreciate them soaring beyond him into the future, while he rode by their sides during the brief time given to him, breathless with exhilaration. Wyatt, and yes, others. He has wanted it so badly he has destroyed it. Not hope, but hunger.

Hope is treacherous whether he had life before him or not. Ever since the War and the lost idyll of Griffin, there has been nothing he had been permitted to touch and hold but it has been torn from him, or that he has not clenched so hard it had shattered.

"I am not yet dead," He answers the priest lightly. "It is too soon to speak of me in the past tense." To him it is a non-sequitur, though he is glad of the impetus to think of it. He has been dead twenty-five years and is stretching towards Heaven, where he will spend all of time with those he has loved.

Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 486
Please comment if you wish.
affect: recumbentrecumbent
 
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charloft. Friday 1 and 2  
1:00:00, October 25th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Friday 1 Pockets

When John has removed all non-clothing items from his person there is a small pile of items on the table:

Colt Thunderer
Colt Lightning
Webley boot revolver
straight razor in a small case on a cord
Pocket Dental Office that he made himself and for which he did the gold-work
Silver pocket watch on a gold chain with a locket for a fob with a picture of Mattie
Wallet with his mother's last letter and bills
Silver and glass flask of scotch (perpetual)
coins
silver pencil
small notebook
cards
sturdy folding knife

Friday 2 Three People who matter most

Wyatt
Mattie
Hub

These are his friends and closest relations, still more even than friends:
John S. Holliday, Thomas McKey, Lee White, Billy Leonard, Eddie Foy, Miguel Otero, John Shaughnessy, Virgil Earp, Samuel Vardenoe, Lee Smith, Texas Jack Vermillion, Turkey Creek Jack Johnson

These are the beloved Dead, their worth something he cannot bring himself to rank:
Alice Jane Cloud McKey
Morgan Seth Earp

He does not bring Gabriel into the question. Gabriel is more to him, so close the question of his significance is hardly something John can begin to contemplate. He has always been there, whether John recognised him or no. He will always be with him.
affect: lonelylonely
 
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charloft. Thursday 1 and 2  
18:26:00, October 23rd, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Thursday 1 Pets

Itinerant, John had never had a pet. Wyatt had his horse, Dick Naylor, always with him, transported on the railway when he did not ride himself, always carefully nourished, accommodated in every luxury he could provide. John, could not rely on himself even to be able and ready to keep a horse. Disease could prevent him. Circumstances could conspire to imprison or exile him at any time. John liked animals - rabbits, especially. A dog, a horse for companionship and warm fellow-feeling would have been a boon. He could never be sure of his ability to care for a pet.

Thursday 2 Home

Home was long ago and far away, before the war, trampled into the red earth of the north. Home was his mother and cool lemonade in the warm air as the sky turned turquoise and shadows stretched dark stripes across dark grass. Home was quiet work and pride, arms around him, words of praise when he merited them. Home was fingering his mother's small treasures, lingering on the Mattie's photo. Home was knowing that, always, there would be Hub, waiting excited for his arrival in the Big House in Fayetteville, as more than guest, as family - a brother. Home was watching from the porch as his cousins played their girl's games in white dresses. Did they wear white dresses? Somehow his memory has come interpret it so. Their nightgowns were white. He looks back. Pinafores. White starched lace, fancy-work to keep dresses clean outdoors.

Later school was almost home. It was a refuge while he dreamt and waited, where in the meantime he learned, hungry and diligent, straining forward. Even there were intrusions - the remnants of the war, the Major.

Dallas should have been home. He meant to have a dental practice there. In those days he could have sent for Mattie and Hub, established himself in practice with his cousin. As he left Georgia, these had been his intentions. He had not been well enough to maintain his profession. He had not been calm enough - not possessed enough faith in the world - to avoid being drawn into the violence and degeneracy of dusty cowtowns and saloons. Soon he was on the run from Texas (again.)

They had intended Tombstone to be a home. Look how well that had turned out.

After that, he never tried again. Home was Heaven. He was always just at the point of returning.
affect: accomplishedaccomplished
 
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charloft. Wednesday 1 and 2  
21:00:00, October 22nd, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
These are Graghic Challenge medicines
1. Love

Oh, teh emos! This is not John. Love for John is a hand in the hair at the back of his neck.

2. Today's graphic challenge is to create your character's business card.

These are the words from John's advertisement in Dodge.
affect: dentistydentisty
 
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charloft. Twosday 1 and 2  
23:36:00, October 21st, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Twosday 1

Which would you rather be - deaf or blind? Why?

"I would rather be deaf. If I were blind I would be unable to know when I had need to protect myself, and I would be killed easily. I would not be able to work, either. I certainly could not deal cards and the thought of a blind dentist is ludicrous."

Twosday 2

Choose one person in your life that you have lost (Any kind of loss), and tell us what you would say if they came back.

"I told Wyatt I would see him again. It was the important thing. I don't think I can improve on it."

"I'm sorry. Forgive me for having been free."

Choose one person in your life that you wish would get lost (again, any kind of 'lost'), and why you want them gone.

"This is a strange question, as everyone got lost in one way or another. I wanted Kate gone, but eventually I managed it. I wanted her gone because she was crazy. No, that is too easy. She was cruel, careless, self-centred, untrustworthy, corrupt, treacherous, violent. Are those enough reasons? I can think of more, without trying, and few if any virtues."
affect: tiredtired
 
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charloft. Munday 1 and 2  
23:50:00, October 20th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
I've been having a hard time writing. Perhaps this will help, if I do it every day, like medicine. I'm not sure if I will join, or John, or everyone, or... Until I'm sure I will write here.

Munday 1

1. How did you choose/create the muse you use?

John embodied the way in which I saw the world, but it was large and I am not articulate enough to express it concisely, so I try to demonstrate it at length. Hannibal is a serene John, without the war and inhabiting an earlier time. I couldn't use John for the community where I play Hannibal because he is not fictional. Bran... I have not written Bran for some time, but he was like a friend when I was a child. Probably the same age as I. There were certain things we had in common. The other muse - I needed to know who he was, so I write to find out. Perhaps to find out who I am as well.

2. What do you hope to get from this community?

I am having great problems writing of late, have perhaps given all my effort to roleplay. I miss John and need to write for him. I hope to be encouraged to write for him every day, so I think more of him and learn more from him.

3. What would you like others to know about your character(s)?

They are serious. I will play with them in gentle humour, recreate pretty scenes, present idylls and dreams, tell stories. But in the end they are serious and will drop any activity or facade for truth.

4. What would you like others to know about you?

I am unlikely. And shy. And hopeful. Some of that is apparent, some isn't. It doesn't work well together. I like to talk about magic. And characters.

5. What would you like to know about the other folks in this community?

I want to learn why they love their characters. I would like to see and consider things about the world, about myself, others, my characters that have not occurred to me before. I want to build what I think and what I believe by seeing what others think, what motivates them, what inspires them. I want to discover the nature of hope, despair, wonder, pain beyond the trite or petty. What makes your characters human? What makes you human?

Munday 2

1. If you could bring any of your characters from their story into this one (aka, the real world), which one would it be, and why?

John, because he would enjoy it. He delighted in technological progress and, displaced, would not find himself in an unfamiliar state. He would be enchanted by the new modes of transportation, communication, entertainment, the opportunity to travel, the wide array of foods available.

2. If you could become any one of your characters for a finite span of time, which character, and for how long would you walk in their shoes?

I don't want to be my characters. Or perhaps I would be any of them, so I would know better who they are, move with their bones and postures, their clothing and pains. I could watch how others viewed them, felt their reactions to internally generated anger, fear, hope, love. It would be interesting to be another person, and interesting to be a character I feel I know so well.

3. Could any of your characters easily become villains if they aren't already, saved only by writer's fondness? Conversely, are any of your villainous characters just too bad to ever be redeemed?

I don't see characters that way. My characters could be seen as villains. My characters could be seen as heroes. It all depends on point of view, and I have found I can forgive, - or accept or embrace - the most unlikely things. People are not simple, living in waves of dark and light, folly and accomplishment. A better question is whether characters can be redeemed from mundaneness. And it is for this quality of unquestionable redemption for which I have chosen mine.
affect: discourageddiscouraged
 
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252. Innuendo  
23:20:00, October 16th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
When he had been a boy in the large houses, warm air and long cool lawns of his childhood; when he had looked up to the ladies in their wide silken skirts and the gentlemen in their fine flared coats and high boots, John had learned the art and language of innuendo. It had never been lying, but a code of honesty, a way of speaking what one may not say aloud. There was a complex code of honourifics, orders of precedence, seating arrangements, the position of one's hat, the details of one's dress, the deepness of one's bow, an elaborate phrase accompanied by a raised brow. John watched, John listened and John learned. Small subtleties could be angry or witty, could be a slap in the face or a punch to the jaw. These could insult someone, cut them to ribbons. Done in the presence of others, these could ruin a reputation. They were spoken of, mimicked, sometimes in whispers with sly smiles, sometimes for years. Outright expressions were so extreme they would call down a duel. An observer would have seen the smooth veneer, the elegant and graceful movements, but underneath would be the expressions of sordid truth. It had been a scandal when one of the otherwise respectable townswomen, widowed early in the war, had begun to wear clothes of blue and green after only two years! One could call a woman a whore by simply addressing her as "Mrs. ___" rather than Miss or Ma'am, if she were unmarried. One could indicate one's doubt of a man's character by habitually omitting a respectful address of 'sir.' One could grant a child favour or prominence by insisting he be addressed as Master Hidalgo rather than Francisco. One could renounce a family and spurn the memory of a good wife if, after her tragic passing, one immediately marries a girl one has been courting during your wife's infirmity. By the same token one could ridicule a man by addressing him by a title he had dishonoured by his conduct. Taking up an alien profession to one's father, abandoning his church for a rival religion, and refusing to address his wife at all were actions loud as a trumpet blasts. Loudest of all were absence, and silence.

Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 377
Please comment if you wish.
affect: angryangry
 
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Public Service Announcement!!! It's Election Day!!!  
8:41:00, October 14th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
(At least in Canada)

Please:
VOTE

It's more than a nice thing to do.
If you fail to vote, everything that is done politically is YOUR FAULT.
Apart from that it is a quagmire of responsibility. Is one responsible for the policies of the party for whom one votes? I used to say 'unless you tried your utmost to influence those policies,' and I acted accordingly taking that principle ever-farther. Now I am tired, maybe. So I must live with the policies of the party I choose. It is still my responsibility. I could have done more (a lot more.) But, at least in my riding, my candidate and long incumbent is Libbie Davies (may it so remain) and one may go to her and express concerns and be taken seriously. That is not the best one may do, but it is something. You know for whom I am voting.
affect: determineddetermined
 
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September, badcompany_muse: Thou Shalt not Kill  
15:10:00, October 5th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Appealing from his native sod
In forma pauperis, to God:
"Lay bare thine arm, stretch forth thy rod."
It's Stonewall Jackson's way!


Thou shalt not kill, saith the Lord.

But John does not think this is a high rule set for all times and all places. His later childhood had been war, and he still believes he was right. It is easy to see the world as it is, more difficult to see what it would have been. In the war, so much loss did not mean lives became cheap. They became expensive, invaluable. Killing was a bargain one made in return for life. Good men died. Good women - his mother - died. Death became grief and sacrifice. It became the place of beloved people offering themselves up for their country, not just in battle but in privation for the Confederacy. Killing became sacrifice as well. It became a setting aside of one's honour for a greater cause. It was making oneself less that the world would be better, would be stronger, would know a higher right than the wrong of one's transgression. Lee had given up his home and all his life for the General he became, not for himself but for Virginia and her people. John listened and learned.
cut for lengthCollapse )

Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 638
Please comment if you wish.
affect: okayokay
 
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(no subject)  
19:46:00, October 2nd, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Dear Jamie (crooked_hedges),

I don't really know how to tell you this, you're a pervert. I think I realized it when I saw the shrunken head in your closet and I saw you drive out the crazy monk. I'm sure you're scared enough to understand that we're cousins. I'm returning the pictures from LA to you, but I'll keep the results of your blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I never liked to ruin the second world war.

Best regards,
John H. Holliday.

Madlibs below!Collapse )

The last character to comment was Jamie - June 12. I have been anti-social.
*hangs head*
affect: shockedshocked
 
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249. Talk about Politics  
16:11:00, September 26th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
These are John's views - I've reconstructed them best as I can. Mine are different, and I am not American.
Cut for politicsCollapse )

Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 529
Please comment if you wish.
affect: worriedworried
 
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246. 5 Steps to Negotiations  
19:25:00, September 19th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
John is not now, nor has he ever been, adept at negotiating. Or convincing gracefully, without threats. In the trial over the Tombstone fiasco, everyone about him said the best move their lawyer, Finch, had made was his refusal to put John on the witness stand.

His five step negotiations tend to work as follows:

Please?
No?
No????!!
Hurt bewilderment.
Either withdrawal or violence. Or panic, the worst of all.


Ideally, the first step in negotiations would be to make his request.

The second would be to logically explain his reasoning, were his request not granted.

The third step would be to listen to the other party's arguments. At this point, if he recognised their validity and supremacy he would withdraw his request.

The fourth would be... there is no fourth, and there is no fifth. At that point, if he had not convinced them, and had not been convinced himself, he would express incredulity. He would then retreat to bitter resentfulness, or fight, offended. Or he would act nonetheless, despite rejection, in extreme inappropriate ways.


He does not make bargains. Either the other party will recognise his claims as valid and accede to them, or they will not. If they do not, and he has not discovered he was wrong, he is confounded.

How much, how many people has he lost?

Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 222
Please comment if you wish.
affect: angryangry
 
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(no subject)  
20:18:00, September 14th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Pass a Secret Note ✘ Meme
 
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OOC  
21:03:00, September 11th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
My computer is in the shop, I will be back very soon, I hope.
 
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August, badcompany_muse: Lure  
19:56:00, September 2nd, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Lure - polymorph.

There is a rabbit on the pavement, with long soft bunny ears and big bunny feet with fur between the toes. It is sitting up, all alertness, not running yet, wiggling its nose at him. Because it is simply there in the open with the sky above it, John does not understand why it is not fleeing from him. He crouches low and extends his hand, slowly if stiffly, setting down his Faro case. He is on his way to deal at the saloon, but the rabbit must be tame, for it hippity hops over to him and looks up expectantly. Perhaps it is a magician's rabbit. In any case, there are dogs about, to say nothing of citizens over-eager for stew.

He picks it up, so soft and cleanly white. It nestles into his arms, and he is enchanted.

Once Gabriel had become bunnies for him, at Easter, as he could be a flock of crows or ravens, a school of (freshwater) angelfish. John had spent a delightful time encouraging their trust and little attentions, watching them move sometimes separately, sometimes clearly with one will. He had fed them fresh greens, and let one curl up to sleep in his waistcoat. He will never harm any rabbit now, and indeed finds them irresistibly attractive.
Trap!Collapse )

Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 680
Please comment if you wish.
affect: relaxedrelaxed
 
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List of Clothesfor makeyourlist  
9:49:00, August 31st, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
A list of clothes from crown to soles (late August, Colorado):

1. Grey round-crowned narrow-brimmed beaver-felt hat with coloured silk band.
2. Pastel striped linen shirt with a soft collar.
3. Gold cufflinks set with a small diamond.
4. Thin white woollen vest.
5. Coloured silk cravat with diamond stickpin.
6. Tailored and slim-fitting high-buttoned dove grey fine wool suit jacket.
7. Large dark grey thick woollen coat with fur collar.
8. Leather thong with a pouch and razor.
9. Coloured silk braces.
10. Thick silk brocade waistcoat.
11. Webley double action, ring-triggered boot revolver.
12. Silver pocket watch.
13. Gold chain and fob of a plain locket containing pictures of himself and Mattie.
14. Leather chest harness holster.
15. Colt Lightning, double-action, nickel-plated and engraved.
16. Spring-loaded belt holster.
17. Colt Thunderer, double-action, nickel-plated and engraved.
18. Money belt, worn beneath shirt and trousers.
19. Tailored suit trousers in dove grey.
20. Linen drawers.
21. Dove grey sock braces.
22. Dark grey woollen socks.
23. Patent leather cap-toed oxfords.
24. Dove-grey spats.

His jewellery varies - rings and so forth that he does not really count as clothing. Professionally, he always carries the pocket dental office he made in Dodge as well as tooth brushes and silk floss. He always has a deck of cards and usually carries a Faro set. In his waistcoat he also carries his mother's last letter, which becomes illegible over the years. His shoes vary as well - sometimes he has boots, half-boots, elastic-sided shoes, depending on fashion. His outerwear is dependant upon the season and location. He is not beyond wearing a grey cloak or will have a great-coat, duster or town coat with a mantle. I have what may, or may not, be a photo of him in a coat as described above.

List items: 24
affect: well-groomedwell-groomed
 
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I am very late with this.  
16:49:00, August 30th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Request any fic/RP/drabble/random entry/whatever of mine and I will provide you with a commentary/annotations, like a DVD extra. Any muse (not that I have many,) and I will put it in his journal.
 
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243. Olympics  
21:56:00, August 23rd, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
John indulges in a brief fantasy. As it is his own mind, he may wallow in vanity for once.
cut for length and John's brimming and shameless egotistic imaginationCollapse )

Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 692
Please comment if you wish.

I wrote this. The computer crashed. I lost it. I tried to reconstruct it. I couldn't. Not really.
affect: gigglygiggly
 
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242. Bearer of Bad News  
12:06:00, August 18th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
When John finally arrived at the hospital camp he refused to let go of the horses. Everything depended on them, and he only hoped his Uncle Thomas was well enough to ride. The soldiers who had met him at the gate seemed to know his name, so that was a positive sign. He waited nervously, exposed at the gate, used to hiding now. He was also worried because he did not know what to expect - a stretcher, crutches, someone so broken in mind and body he couldn't come, wouldn't recognise John, or care. The news of his uncle had been vague, old, second-hand. He could hear his heart in his thin chest. His stomach was knotted, and he couldn't differentiate between hunger and fear.
cut for lengthCollapse )

Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 837
Please comment if you wish.
affect: worriedworried
 
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Thank you!  
23:30:00, August 14th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
"Thank you so very much for the lovely birthday cake, it was delicious and I enjoyed and continue to appreciate it - it really means a great deal to me that you should remember my birthday. I am 157 today!" John smiles like the sun. It is a happy birthday.
affect: delighteddelighted
 
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Writers Muses Character Dossiers, Prompt sets 32 - 49  
9:50:00, August 14th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
cut for 133 questions and answers (plus question 8 which is missing)Collapse )

Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: Unknown
Please comment if you wish.
affect: blankblank
 
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badcompany_muse introduction  
19:10:00, August 9th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
John Holliday, at your service. Most, but not all, call me Doc. I used to be a dentist. Now I am a sporting man. Some say I am an outlaw, and I will admit that I have been. Yes, I have killed, but I consider it justified. My life is as much to me as any man's, though it is forfeit. I have tuberculosis. For that I take scotch and whiskey, which I am pleased to share. I spurn laudanum, for it will dull my wits and reactions. My vocation now is to deal Faro, on the gambler's circuit. Poker is also lucrative, if you wish a game. I am from Georgia, though I am not welcome to return. I grew up during the war. I value my friends and my family. My family motto is Nulli virtute secundus and I do my best.

Out of CharacterCollapse )
affect: satisfiedsatisfied
 
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241. What principles do you hold sacrosanct?  
10:49:00, August 5th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Any principles held are sacrosanct. That is what principles are. And even if they are not something with which one can agree, they should be respected. One may fight against them. In a perfect world everyone would hold principles and conflict would arise only when they were incompatible with each other. I can respect someone who would fight for principles.

Unfortunately, people usually act without an overarching plan out of instinct or manipulation, because immediate desire calls them. They express what they believe are principles but which are borrowed from the last person to whom they spoke, or the one who spoke the loudest, used the most effective techniques of empty promise and flattery. Who is to know the nature of such people? They are unaware, not wholly real.

If anyone holds sure principles he has learned, lived and developed, and if he is willing to stand by them and fight for them when it is inconvenient, when his latest companion disagrees, when holding them would mean sacrifice, why then his principles should be respected.

And if with all his strength of will and learning, his principles are such that they still defy your own, why then he is a worthy opponent. Should his principles affect valued circumstances or people about you - should they threaten your principles, why then you must fight. And it is honourable - a true fight instead of one waged against fools where one has an upper hand of skill and vision.

Or maybe, if he believes so strongly, you will learn from him, learn of yourself and what you believe. If someone has principles, when you deal with him you deal with truth.


Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 308
Please comment if you wish.
affect: determineddetermined
 
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240. Whom do you fear?  
19:21:00, July 24th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
John looks at the question out of the corner of his eye.
Wyatt had said John was afraid of nothing on Earth.
Wyatt had said John would have been more wise had he been afraid of himself. This last had always been said with a smile, fond and amused, but weary.

John had a great deal he could have feared. Death. Incapacitation. Pain. Bad Luck. Bullets. Jail. These possibilities he learned to live with, adjusting for them, taking them inside himself until they were gone and he had learned to use their presence in others to serve him.
In truth, he was afraid of Wyatt.

The other things he had subsumed. He had let his fear transform into certainty and expectation.

But of this he could not let go. To want is to fear. To hope is to fear. To look forward is to fear. Because they are an investment of feeling. And if they do not fulfill themselves that feeling will bankrupt itself. John saw this possibility clearly. And dreaded it, but he could not accept it, could not kneel and offer himself one more time to fate. It meant too much - loss of those investments would have broken him, he thought. Instead it was the fear that ruined him. And he betrayed himself, lost it all.

He feared Wyatt.
He should have feared himself.
And a great deal of what he valued in Wyatt was John's own trust in his friend.

Had he left Georgia because he feared Mattie, or himself? He had been so young then, but he had been right. And Mattie had remained with him.


Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 270
Please comment if you wish.
affect: sicksick
 
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50drabbles. table 11. 9. Sheriff - Bill Kills  
19:06:00, July 24th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Guns in the night, shouts, shattering glass. Damn cowboys shooting up the town again. Weariness. They had not wanted to be lawmen, but to build a frontier empire - solid business, intrigue - yes, politics, shrewdness. They followed Fred White out nevertheless. Duty. To back up the sheriff against lawless Texans.

Curly Bill, strangely sober. Feigning drunkenness.

"Give me your gun."

He had handed it over, at the last second spun it in his hand - a border roll they called it. Fred fell into John's arms, bullet in his gut and clothes aflame.

Later they found it had been a set-up. Murder.

Year: 1881
affect: morosemorose
 
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50drabbles. table 11. 1. Cowboy - Nomenclature  
18:57:00, July 24th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Even this word was insult. Cowboy - a child, irresponsible and a child's word. Moo-cow. There were steers as often, more often, than cows. Cowboy, as opposed to Cattleman. It was a jeer, lacked dignity. But they took it to themselves.

In Arizona though, near the Mexican border, they were not even cowboys anymore, driving the big herds up from Texas. They were still fighting the Civil War, insipid heirs of Quantrill, putting one over on the North. They were lazy. Thieves, raiders, hold-up men and murderers. Destructive for a whoop and whiskey. Destructive for the sake of irresponsibility.

Year: 1881
affect: irritatedirritated
 
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50drabbles. table 11. 14. Brothel - Kate, of course  
12:27:00, July 22nd, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Kate was a whore. She enjoyed being a whore. She was a whore even when she didn't need to be.

Kate saved John's life in Firt Griffin when he had been bound in a hotel waiting to hang for killing a popular gambler. She had fired a stable and freed him. When they reached Dodge, John believed he owed her a life debt and was responsible for her. He settled 'permanently' in Dodge as a respectable dentist with a respectable 'wife.'

Two weeks later she was working in a brothel again and brawling in the street. He was ashamed.

Year: 1878
affect: annoyedannoyed
 
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239. Hair  
22:08:00, July 20th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
During the war, John had always hoped to somehow acquire some store-bought soap for Mattie. But he was never able to do so, intentions aside. There was just not enough money for luxuries. Not when a penny package of needles had come to cost seventy five dollars. So they made lye soap. They had rendered pig fat and when the lard had been taken from it, run water through woodstove and fireplace ashes to syphon off to make lye. These were stirred together in a wooden tub until the paddle would hold vertical. Then it was poured, thick sludge into wooden forms for bars. But lye was caustic and it made their skin ruddy and shiny - tight, smooth and inclined to crack and itch. They used it for everything - to clean the stove, their laundry. They used it in the bath.

And to wash their hair.
cut for lengthCollapse )

Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 639
Please comment if you wish.
affect: melancholymelancholy
 
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50drabbles. table 11. 26. Hold Up - Gold Watch  
20:08:00, July 17th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
Stage rides were long. Though he was voluble and diligent, John sometimes simply dozed, dreaming in summer heat and woollen clothes. So pleasant to relax, trust, be simply carried, rocked by the journey's jolting rhythm.

It was the only time he was caught so unawares. A sudden stop placed a Colt so close to his nose he would have had to cross his eyes to focus on it. Though dying, he was disinclined to hurry the matter. He was relieved of his guns and the gold watch from his Uncle John congratulating him on graduation. Subsequent pocket watches were silver.

Year: 1876
affect: aggravatedaggravated
 
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