?

Log in

No account? Create an account
240. Whom do you fear?  
19:21:00, July 24th, 2008
 
 
John Henry Holliday, DDS
John looks at the question out of the corner of his eye.
Wyatt had said John was afraid of nothing on Earth.
Wyatt had said John would have been more wise had he been afraid of himself. This last had always been said with a smile, fond and amused, but weary.

John had a great deal he could have feared. Death. Incapacitation. Pain. Bad Luck. Bullets. Jail. These possibilities he learned to live with, adjusting for them, taking them inside himself until they were gone and he had learned to use their presence in others to serve him.
In truth, he was afraid of Wyatt.

The other things he had subsumed. He had let his fear transform into certainty and expectation.

But of this he could not let go. To want is to fear. To hope is to fear. To look forward is to fear. Because they are an investment of feeling. And if they do not fulfill themselves that feeling will bankrupt itself. John saw this possibility clearly. And dreaded it, but he could not accept it, could not kneel and offer himself one more time to fate. It meant too much - loss of those investments would have broken him, he thought. Instead it was the fear that ruined him. And he betrayed himself, lost it all.

He feared Wyatt.
He should have feared himself.
And a great deal of what he valued in Wyatt was John's own trust in his friend.

Had he left Georgia because he feared Mattie, or himself? He had been so young then, but he had been right. And Mattie had remained with him.


Name: John H. Holliday, DDS.
Fandom: History.
Word Count: 270
Please comment if you wish.
affect: sicksick
 
    Buck the Tiger - Rake in 2 Chips - Share - Address
 

(no subject)
 zippyknowsbest
 
20:27:16, July 25th, 2008 (UTC)
 
 
Zipporah "Zippy" Levine
Really liked this one.
 
    at 5 to 1 - Below - Address
 
(no subject)
 wytchcroft
 
23:29:37, July 29th, 2008 (UTC)
 
 
wytchcroft
This is a link to the 1903 12mins film of The Great Train Robbery - enjoy!

http://www.watch-movies.net/movies/the_great_train_robbery/
 
    at 5 to 1 - Above - Below - Address
 


 
 
 
Time Travel  
  Precedent
Anecedent
 
September 2009  
 
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930
 
entry  
 
 


  Powered by
LiveJournal.com